Week Seven – Conflict – David

Insights on conflict from a theological perspective:

1. Conflict is an inevitable part of living

2. Resolution and prevention of interpersonal conflict is most important because it can destroy our relationship with God

3. Christianity has to do with man's relationships with others; there are many passages that talk about dealing with conflict: Matthew 5:21-24; 1 Peter 3:7; 1 John 3:15-18; 4:20

4. Both parties involved in conflict have a responsibility to communicate with each other. Jesus said, " . . . if thou . . . remember that they brother hath aught against thee . . . go thy way . . . be reconciled top thy brother." (Matthew 5:23) This verse teaches that the one who did the offending, the offender has an obligation to communicate to the one offended. If the brother has aught against you, then you have offended him. Matthew 18:15 says, " . . . if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone . . . " Jesus indicates that the one that is offended also has a duty to communicate to the offender. There can be no stalemate. One is not to wait on the other to make the first move. Both are responsible for making the first overture in reconciliation.

5. Interpersonal conflicts must be kept very personal for the benefit of all. Jesus said, “. . . tell him his fault between thee and him alone . . . " (Matthew 18:15) it is very tempting to tell others to get sympathy or supporters for our cause. The proper love for another would demand that one not tell others. It would save embarrassment on the part of both the offender and the offended.

Things are not always what we perceive them to be. (Mark 4:12) If our perception of a situation is wrong and we tell others before confronting the person involved, then we have dealt a grave injustice in regards to the truth and the one involved. How many times have people said, "Oh, if I only had a chance to explain." A distorted perception may cause one to see a problem that does not exist. If publicized, one is guilty of telling something that is not true and iniquity abounds! Confidentiality would save trouble and embarrassment for all.

6. There is much wisdom in keeping interpersonal conflict confidential. Such a practice would prevent gossip, more misunderstanding, more hurt feelings, dissension, and strife among family, friends, and brethren. Too many times we are guilty of getting things blown out of proportion by those who do not understand all the facts surrounding the circumstance.

Resources:
http://www.abacon.com/commstudies/interpersonal/inconflict.html
http://www.drbalternatives.com/articles/cc2.html
http://www.focusongod.com/